Basement Music

Are you living in the past? Well, STOP! it's as easy as that....just say no to retro. To help you get out of the past and into the NOW, Basement Music has put together this self-help podcast chock full of pointless, meaningless observations about music and life. The idea here is to use these guys as an example of how not to be in the world. Also, listening to this show will increase your penis and/or breast sizes by a substantial amount! And ultimately, isn't that what it's all about? Yes it is.

Here's part one of our look at Retro. Part two coming soon-ish...probably a year or so.

Peace Out

AZ

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Welcome to Part 2 of Salvaging the 80s. Featuring songs by The Jesus and Mary Chain, Psychedelic Furs, Dinosaur Jr. Meat Puppets, Talk Talk, Feelies, New Order, Husker Du and the inimitable Captain Sensible.

This is the episode you don't want to miss, where Tim insists that Pedro's goiter keeps telling him to burn things and Pedro insists that Tim's "got a purdy mouth." Azed challenges Omar to fight to the death in the Thunderdome, but instead of two going in and one coming out, they resolve their differences resulting in sweaty incestuous love-making the likes of which Tina Turner has never seen. All the while Richard simply watches. Even now he watches. Those he watches rarely know it, but he watches all the same. Always watching. Always scheming.

I think it's rather endearing actually... But also creepy. Really, really creepy.

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Welcome to Part 2 of Salvaging the 80s. Featuring songs by The Jesus and Mary Chain, Psychedelic Furs, Dinosaur Jr. Meat Puppets, Talk Talk, Feelies, New Order, Husker Du and the inimitable Captain Sensible.

This is the episode you don't want to miss, where Tim insists that Pedro's goiter keeps telling him to burn things and Pedro insists that Tim's "got a purdy mouth." Azed challenges Omar to fight to the death in the Thunderdome, but instead of two going in and one coming out, they resolve their differences resulting in sweaty incestuous love-making the likes of which Tina Turner has never seen. All the while Richard simply watches. Even now he watches. Those he watches rarely know it, but he watches all the same. Always watching. Always scheming.

I think it's rather endearing actually... But also creepy. Really, really creepy.

Listen Now:

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The 1980s were a turbulent time. It was a time of major historical events and world-changing innovations. Television was radically transformed with the introduction of cable and by positing the indelible query, "Who's the Boss?" The Walkman was discovered to operate just as well for walking women. An alzheimers ridden Ronald Reagan roamed America kicking poor people in the junk. Robert Redford bludgeoned Martin Scorsese to death with his Best Director Oscar replacing him with a cyborg named Tito. And the Cold War ended after the fall of the Berlin Wall due to it being made of malformed Miami Vice action figures.

But mostly the 80s is remembered for bad hair, leg warmers and a black hole of tasteless musical dreck. But wait! Perhaps there is more to it. The fine gentlemen of Basement try to salvage the vacuum of all things good in music that is believed to have made up the 80s. Will they succeed? Only time and the ghost of Patrick Duffy can tell.*

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Welcome to Basement Podcast #10 where several miserable old cranks get together to complain about how everything was better before the Kaiser drove the Moors out of Saskatchewan. Pedro also recounts a story about how some whiny little kid had the audacity to cry when Pedro demanded the youngster give him a foot massage in a Denny's. Tim keeps complaining about how Richard's relative youth makes him gassy. Richard responds by claiming Tim's gas makes him more youthful. Finally, after haemorrhaging from his spinal column for the first half of the show Azed perks up for the last half only to realize that he ate the reserve of guacamole he had stashed in his colostomy bag.

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Can anyone remember the name of the man who invented spark plugs? No, so why bring it up?

So here it is Basement Music 9 or The Return of Basement Music or Basement Music: Pedro's Revenge. Nothing beats a bunch of mid-life guys sitting around drinking, smoking and talking about music, except maybe a really intense game of D&D. This time around we took the extra time to set up Richard's turntables so we could play awesome tracks on vinyl. Richard better bring those turntables from now on, if he knows what's good for him.

Please partake of the best opening and closing tracks from some of the best albums ever. And remember a sandwich is JUST a sandwich but a MANWICH is a meal.

AZ

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Welcome to Basement Podcast #8 where the guys reveal all kinds of good music that has been masquerading as bad music all along. Either that or they are finally coming clean about their complete lack of good taste. Are there any redeeming values to Hall and Oates? Sting? Billy Joel? Air Supply? The Shaw Bros? Justin Timberlake? Doubt not dear listener, for all will explained herein.

Also in this episode, Richard gives birth to a flange of chazzwozzers. Pedro films the births with the intention of screening it the world over. However, he is later refused distribution due to a lack of 3D compatibility. Tim expresses interest in narrating Pedro's film, but instead builds a life-size replica of Alan Thicke from used popsicle sticks, and Azed keeps the whole mess from devolving into anarchy by showing the guys his collection of potatoes that look like Ralph Macchio.

We hope you'll enjoy it. And if not... well, we'll just be forced to kill this box of kittens.

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In this episode of Basement Music, Azed goes into one of his "trances" and channels the ghost of Tim (even though Tim's still alive), Pedro marks his territory by urinating on the actual podcast and Richard makes all his contributions through a Filipino translator.

Basement guarantee! Anybody who listens to this podcast will be famous one day.

Also, this podcast has shamanistic healing properties that can cure: scabbies, spleen rupture, membrane softening, tennis lips, kidney vocalizing and testicular gigantism.

Anyone wanting to have very sick sexual contact with Azed, contact Basement.

XO AZ

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Mercedes, Tom, and Azed discuss the 00s in grand fashion!

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